Self-discipline

Personality Development                                             

On numerous occasions people talk about the importance of having self-discipline.

Self-discipline is not something that we are born with. It is a learned behavior. It requires practice and repetition in our day-to-day life. Commitment is one of the keys to self-discipline.

Everybody will have ups and downs, fabulous successes, and flat out failures.

It is easy to get wrapped up in guilt, anger, or frustration, but these emotions will not help to improve self-discipline.

Improved self-discipline will allow us to live a freer life by helping us to make healthy choices and not emotional ones.

Measuring the current results against past results can be an effective method that helps to stay focused, motivated and disciplined.

That is the only way to ensure that a person will have enough long-term staying power to stick with goal.

There are many important qualities that can contribute to a person’s achievements and happiness, but there is only one that begets sustainable, long-term success in all aspects of life ie, self-discipline.

Aiyan Thiruvalluvar says

ஒழுக்கம் விழுப்பந் தரலான் ஒழுக்கம்

உயிரினும் ஓம்பப் படும். (131)

सदाचार-संपन्नता, देती सब को श्रेय ।
तब तो प्राणों से अधिक, रक्षणीय वह ज्ञेय ॥ (१३१)

Explanation by Scholars:

Propriety of conduct leads to eminence. It should therefore be preserved more carefully than life.

ஒருவர்க்கு உயர்வு தரக்கூடியது ஒழுக்கம் என்பதால், அந்த ஒழுக்கமே உயிரைவிட மேலானதாகப் போற்றப்படுகிறது.

Effort – The Major Key to Success

Personality Development                       

Success comes to those who sustain a consistent and incredible amount of effort. 

A large part of success is putting in the time each and every day. A person can gain a lot from a consistent effort that he can’t get any other way.

Those who complain about their lot in life and how unlucky they have been are the same ones who only give maximum effort when they feel like it or when the timing seems to be right for them.

A person will have different seasons in his life and business. There will be times where great things & bad things will happen.

But the one constant thing which will give an opportunity to control everything that happens is his effort.

The benefits of a consistent effort go beyond learning new and different skills and mastering old ones.

Mahatma Gandhiji said  “Satisfaction lies in the effort, not in the attainment. Full effort is full victory”.

The effort you have expended in the completion of the task is your  private victory. You may be the only person aware of what you have achieved but the victory is yours to appreciate.

Full Effort, can relate to Life as well as Business. Full Effort means, you can’t Fail.

Aiyan Thiruvalluvar says

தெய்வத்தான் ஆகா தெனினும் முயற்சிதன்

மெய்வருத்தக் கூலி தரும். (619)

यद्यपि मिले न दैववश, इच्छित फल जो भोग्य ।
श्रम देगा पारिश्रमिक, निज देह-श्रम-योग्य ॥ (६१९)

Explanation by Scholars: 

Although it be said that, through fate, it cannot be attained, yet labour, with bodily exertion, will yield its reward.

கடவுளே என்று கூவி அழைப்பதால் நடக்காத காரியம் ஒருவர் முயற்சியுடன் உழைக்கும்போது அந்த உழைப்புக்கேற்ற வெற்றியைத் தரும்.

Dedication and Efforts

Personality Development

To make our dream to turn into reality, it requires a lot of determination, dedication and sincere efforts.  Strength and growth comes only through continuous struggle and efforts. All of us have the potential to be successful by giving full expression to our strengths with sincere effort.

Hard work and continuous efforts is the certain way to excel in life. Nothing in the world is achieved without efforts. Sincere efforts always pay big rewards.

The successful leaders continuously fuel their dreams with dedication and sincere efforts to reach their destination. They keep themselves motivated and work for success until they succeed.  Those who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed. 

An idle person waits for the chance to succeed, while a hardworking person makes excellence in every work.  Only those who knows the power of giving sincere and continuous efforts to any task given to them marks their impression. They know that not only efforts, but efforts in right direction are equally important. 

Great leaders have attained the glory by continually pushing their efforts till their goal has been achieved. They had never blunted their efforts in due course of time. They were consistent in their efforts right from the beginning of the task. 

The secret to success is to do a work at a time and put all the efforts in it. Hard work and sincerity in the discharge of one's duty will surely be rewarded.

Aiyan Thiruvalluvar says

கருமம் செயஒருவன் கைதூவேன் என்னும்

பெருமையின் பீடுடையது இல். (1021)

‘हाथ न खींचूँ कर्म से, जो कुल हित कर्तव्य ।
इसके सम नहिं श्रेष्ठता, यों है जो मन्तव्य ॥ (१०२१)

Explanation by Scholars

There is no higher greatness than that of one saying "I will not cease in my effort to raise".

உரிய கடமையைச்  செய்வதில் சோர்வு காணாமல் எவனொருவன் முயற்சிகளை விடாமல் மேற்கொள்கிறானோ அந்தப் பெருமைக்கு மேலாக வேறொரு பெருமை கிடையாது.

Building Self-Confidence

Personality Development          

Self-confidence is extremely important in almost every aspect of our lives, yet so many people struggle to find it. People who lack self-confidence can find it difficult to become successful. If you are under-confident,  you’ll avoid taking risks and stretching yourself and you might not try at all.

One  might be persuaded to consider accepting a project by someone who speaks clearly, who holds his or her head high, who answers questions assuredly, and who readily admits when he or she does not know something. Confident people inspire confidence in others: their audience, peers, bosses, customers and friends.

Two main things contribute to self-confidence: self-efficacy and self-esteem. We gain a sense of self-efficacy  when we see ourselves mastering skills and achieving goals that matter in those skill areas. Self-esteem is that we can cope with what's going on in our lives, and that we have a right to be happy.

With the right amount of self-confidence, you will take informed risks, stretch yourself and try hard.

Aiyan Thiruvalluvar explains about Building Self-Confidence.

அருமை உடைத்தென்று அசாவாமை வேண்டும் 

பெருமை முயற்சி தரும்.  (611)

दुष्कर यह यों समझकर, होना नहीं निरास ।
जानो योग्य महानता, देगा सतत प्रयास ॥ (६११)

Explanation by Scholars: 

Yield not to the feebleness which says, "this is too difficult to be done".  Effort will give the greatness of mind (self-confidence) which is necessary to do it.

நம்மால் முடியுமா என்று மனத்தளர்ச்சி அடையாமல், முடியும் என்ற நம்பிக்கையுடன் முயற்சி செய்தால் அதுவே பெரிய வலிமையாக அமையும்.

Self-Help Techniques to deal Stress

Personality Development

Stress produces numerous physical and mental symptoms which vary according to each individual's situational factors. If you’re living with high levels of stress, you’re putting your entire well-being at risk.

The simple realization that you’re in control of your life is the foundation of stress management.

Stress management is all about taking charge of your lifestyle, thoughts, emotions, and the way you deal with problems.

No matter how stressful your life seems, there are steps you can take to relieve the pressure and regain control.

Effective stress management, on the other hand, helps you break the hold stress has on your life, so you can be happier, healthier, and more productive.

The ultimate goal is a balanced life, with time for work, relationships, relaxation, fun and the resilience to hold up under pressure and meet challenges head on.

Aiyan Thiruvalluvar says

இடுக்கண் வருங்கால் நகுக அதனை

அடுத்தூர்வது அஃதொப்ப தில்.  (621)

जब दुख-संकट आ पड़े, तब करना उल्लास ।
तत्सम कोई ना करे, भिड़ कर उसका नाश ॥ (६२१)

Explanation by Scholars: 

If troubles come, laugh; there is nothing like that, to press upon and drive away sorrow.

நாம் அறியாமலே நமக்கு ஒரு துன்பம் வந்தால் அப்போது மனம் தளராமல் மனத்துள் மகிழ்க;  அந்தத் துன்பத்தைத் தோற்கடிக்க அம்மகிழ்ச்சியைப் போல் ஆற்றல் மிக்கது வேறொன்றும் இல்லை.

Perseverance

The Key to Success - Personality Development       

In our instant-gratification, short attention span, multitasking world, we have lost sight of one core element of high achievement. That is perseverance, the power key to success.

The ability to keep on, keeping on, even when our efforts are met with disappointment or failure, is an ability that can make all the difference in the world and that is the definition of Perseverance.

It comes from being committed to your goal, and from believing in yourself and in your goal’s possibility. It borrows strength from resilience and optimism and brushes elbows with courage along the way.

Perhaps more than any other quality, perseverance is what gets our projects out the door, master our talents, and that turns dreams into realities.

Perseverance does more for you than to help you master a skill or complete a project.  As great as those achievements are, the ability to keep on keeping on serves you in other ways as well.

It makes you trustworthy in other people’s eyes.  They know you won’t quit when an obstacle comes along. It increases your sense of self-worth to take full ownership of the goal you set out to achieve.  You accept that your destiny is in your own hands.

Your commitment to your goal enhances its value for you and heightens your motivation. It leads you to unexpected discoveries and expands your knowledge, both about yourself and about the field of your endeavor.

Aiyan Thiruvalluvar says

மடுத்த வாயெல்லாம் பகடன்னான் உற்ற

இடுக்கண் இடர்ப்பாடு உடைத்து.  (624)

ऊबट में भी खींचते, बैल सदृष जो जाय ।
उसपर जो दुख आ पड़े, उस दुख पर दुख आय ॥ (६२४)

Explanation by Scholars

Troubles will vanish (i.e., will be troubled) before the man who (struggles against difficulties) as a buffalo (drawing a cart) through deep mire.

தடங்கல் நிறைந்த கரடுமுரடான பாதையில் பெரும்பாரத்தை எருது இழுத்துக் கொண்டு போவதுபோல, விடாமுயற்சியுடன் செயல்பட்டால் துன்பங்களுக்கு முடிவு ஏற்பட்டு வெற்றி கிட்டும்.

Ego

Personality Development

Every one of us has a dominant negative attitude, a defensive and potentially destructive pattern of thinking, feeling and acting which is known as Ego. It is a constraining factor or personal stumbling block.

The main reasons are self destruction, undervaluing oneself, denying responsibility, resisting to change, greed, arrogance and impatience. It can occur when someone is in a leadership position and loses perspective about his/her role in the organization.

A leader tends to garner large amounts of praise and recognition for successes both from those outside an organization and from within the organization. This is particularly problematic in situations where the leader sets up an internal organizational culture that supports communicating about positive things. It is true that some leaders succeed due to being in the right place at the right time with the right skills. But when situations change, the leaders who do not change along with the situations due to ego will tend to self-destruct. In ego-driven leaders, purpose takes a distant backseat to personal success.

The ego is one of the biggest barriers to people working together effectively. When people get caught up in their egos, it erodes their effectiveness. It is because the combination of false pride and self-doubt created by an overactive ego gives people a distorted image of their own importance. When we are told that we are wrong, we often resent it. 

Our opposition to the refutation of our misconceptions frequently stems from our ego, the part of us that insists on its correctness. The ego is not the enemy to be subdued but a compilation of unexamined habits that keep us from greatness.

When we allow ego to lead the way, we are edging out greatness. Ego is the mask we wear to cover it all up. Ego is not about power. It is about being powerless. 

Aiyan Thiruvalluvar says

வெண்மை எனப்படுவ தியாதெனின் ஒண்மை 
உடையம்யாம் என்னும் செருக்கு. (844)

हीन-बुद्धि किसको कहें, यदि पूछोगे बात ।

स्वयं मान ‘हम हैं सुधी’, भ्रम में पड़ना ज्ञात ॥ (८४४)

Explanation by Scholars

What is called want of wisdom is the vanity which says, "We are wise".

ஒருவன் தன்னைத் தானே  அறிவுடையவனாக  மதித்துக்  கொள்ளும்  ஆணவத்திற்குப் பெயர் தான் அறியாமை எனப்படும்.

The Inherent Power of Words

Personality Development

                            
Around 80% of the day we spend in oral communication for instructing, influencing, explaining, persuading, motivating, counselling etc. Words affect our perceptions, attitudes, beliefs and emotions. The words we use in the persuasion process make all the difference in the world.

The right words are captivating and the wrong words are devastating. The right words make things come to life, create energy, and are more persuasive than the wrong words. Words can either build up or tear down. Words can motivate or discourage.

Word skills are also directly related to earning power. Successful people all share a common ability to use language in ways that evoke vivid thoughts, feelings and actions in their audiences.

Successful persuaders know how to use the right words to create the desired response from their audiences. Even a single word can make the difference in perception and acceptance. Choose the words wisely, as they have power to guide a person towards further success and give him peace within.

Improper word can cause divide and friction filled with fear, anger and hate, leading to hidden dissatisfaction. Such words will lead to failure only. Using one wrong word, the damage could be so profound, it will forever sever relationships.

In business, this could forever impact in a negative way. Words used incorrectly will lose the deal which might otherwise have closed.

We can very well create movement, excitement, and vision with the words we use. The words can either solve the problem or worsen it. Kind, true and necessary words can douse any situation.

One should think twice before he speaks, because his words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.

Aiyan Thiruvalluvar says

ஆக்கமுங் கேடும் அதனால் வருதலால்

காத்தோம்பல் சொல்லின்கட் சோர்வு. (642)

अपनी वाणी ही रही, लाभ- हानि का मूल ।
इससे रहना सजग़ हो, न हो बोलते भूल ॥ (६४२)

Explanation by Scholars:

Since (both) wealth and evil result from (their) speech, persons should most carefully guard themselves against faultiness therein.

ஆக்கமும் அழிவும் சொல்லால் ஏற்படும் என்பதால், எந்தவொரு சொல்லிலும் குறைபாடு நேராமல் கவனமாக இருக்க வேண்டும்.

Multitasking

Personality Development                                   

Multitasking is an apparent human ability to perform more than one task, or activity, over a short period. 

Persons faced with converging deadlines, are often required to work on several tasks simultaneously. Multitasking is generally looked on as a positive concept.

Those skilled in the practice are said to be able to move fluidly and quickly between different areas of work without losing overview or focus. 

Modern technological advances have made multi-tasking both unavoidable and necessary.

Multitasking prevents an employee becoming bored with repetitive tasks and also means they are exposed to a host of different work which can increase their knowledge and skills.

Multitasking employees certainly increase the productivity of the organization. They deliver more output with minimum resources.

Employees with multitasking abilities have better chances of survival than others even in the worst situations. Multitasking can be a useful way of ensuring that several tasks can be worked on in the same period and prevent downtime.

Should an employee be unable to move on with a certain task, for example when waiting on feedback from another department, they can move quickly into another task which requires attention. This means that an employee is fully utilized within the business.

Multitasking has become a common term not only in today’s busy organizations but also during Aiyan’s era.

Aiyan Thiruvalluvar says

வினையான் வினையாக்கிக் கோடல் நனைகவுள் 

யானையால்  யானையாத் தற்று. (678)

एक कर्म करते हुए, और कर्म हो जाय ।
मद गज से मद-मत्त गज, जैसे पकड़ा जाय ॥ (६७८)

Explanation by Scholars: 

To make one undertaking the means of accomplishing another (similar to it) is like making one rutting elephant the means of capturing another.

ஒரு செயலில் ஈ.டுபடும்போது, அச்செயலின் தொடர்பாக  மற்றொரு  செயலையும் முடித்துக் கொள்வது  ஒருயானையைப் பயன்படுத்தி  மற்றொரு யானையைப் பிடிப்பது  போன்றதாகும்.

Maintain the Secrecy

Personality Development                                  

Secrecy is the practice of hiding information while sharing it with others. Shouldn't you announce your goals, so friends can support you? Isn't it good networking to tell people about your upcoming projects?

Answer: No.

Once you've told people of your intentions, it gives you a "premature sense of completeness."

People who talk about their intentions are less likely to make them happen. Announcing your plans to others may satisfy your self-identity.

Different tests found that those who kept their intentions private were more likely to achieve them than those who made them public.

It may seem unnatural to keep your intentions and plans private.

Announcing your plans before achieving/completion makes you less motivated and will create more problems.

Aiyan Thiruvalluvar says

கடைக்கொட்கச் செய்தக்க தாண்மை இடைக்கொட்கின்

எற்றா விழுமந் தரும். (663)

प्रकट किया कर्मान्त में, तो है योग्य सुधीर ।
प्रकट किया यदि बीच में, देगा अनन्त पीर ॥ (६६३)

Explanation by Scholars

So to perform an act as to publish it (only) at its termination is (true) manliness; for to announce it beforehand, will cause irremediable sorrow.

கடைக்கொட்க = At completion stage

செய்தக்க தாண்மை =  perform an act as to publish

இடைக்கொட்கின் = for to announce it beforehand

எற்றா விழுமந் தரும் = will cause irremediable sorrow

Easy to say, hard to enact

Sustainability - Personality Development

                       
Losers make promises they often break.  Winners make commitments they always keep. Trust and promises go hand-in-hand. We have all had promises broken by our bosses, subordinates, colleagues and ourselves.  Many times there were very good reasons why we could not follow through on what we promised to do, because we focus too much on the reasons behind the broken promise, rather than the effects that our broken promises have on others.

When someone breaks a promise to us, there is often a shift in the relationship. Depending on the ramifications of that broken promise in our lives, it can destroy the level of trust that may have taken years to establish. If the business relationship is new, it may cause us to be more cautious in our future dealings with both that individual and others as well. We need to believe that what people tell us is the truth.

In this situation, our own personal integrity might have been put to the test because we have made promises to others that were contingent upon someone else’s promise to complete a task at a given time. In such situations, it is not surprising that tempers flare and skepticism infuses future dealings with that person. Care should be taken when making promises. If there is any doubt about the ability to deliver, then that needs to be stated directly and initially.

In work and in life, it is really important not to promise something which cannot be delivered, because at best, it will mar the relationships.

Aiyan Thiruvalluvar says

சொல்லுதல் யார்க்கும் எளிய அரியவாம்

சொல்லிய வண்ணம் செயல்.  (664)

कहना तो सब के लिये, रहता है आसान ।
करना जो जैसा कहे, है दुस्साध्य निदान ॥ (६६४)

Explanation by Scholars:

To say (how an act is to be performed) is (indeed) easy for any one. But far difficult it is to do according to what has been said.

நான் இந்தச் செயலை இப்படிச் செய்யப்போகிறேன் என்று சொல்லுவது எல்லார்க்கும் சுலபம்.  சொல்லியபடியே அதைச்செய்து முடிப்பதுதான் கடினம்.

Laziness

Personality Development                            

Laziness can lead to total failure in a person's life. It has a bad effect on our physical and mental health.

Laziness is the biggest enemy of life. If a person is lazy then he will not acquire any significant position in his life and will always remain confused.

Laziness is a disease which slowly steals everything from us.

The biggest attribute of laziness is that we don't understand its ill-effects on the right time, and afterwards we can only regret.

Laziness not only leads to mental disorders but it also affects our body and health.

The lazy persons become less efficient and the energy level of the person becomes down.

The brain of lazy persons do not function properly. They have a weak memory. They take much time to answer any question.

To become intelligent, skillful and efficient we should quit laziness first.

Laziness has killed careers, futures, relationships, families, friendships, you name it and there has been at least one case where laziness played a large role, and effort played none.

Aiyan Thiruvalluvar says

நெடுநீர் மறவி மடிதுயில் நான்கும்

கெடுநீரார் காமக் கலன். (605)

दीर्घसूत्रता, विस्मरण, सुस्ती, निद्रा-चाव ।
जो जन चाहें डूबना, चारों हैं प्रिय नाव ॥ (६०५)

Explanation by Scholars

Procrastination, forgetfulness, idleness, and sleep, these four things, form the vessel which is desired by those destined to destruction.

காலம் தாழ்த்தி செய்வது, மறதி, சோம்பல், ஓயாத்தூக்கம் இவை நான்கும் அழிவை நாடுவார் விரும்பி ஏறும் படகாகும்.

Finding Fault in Others

Law of Attraction in Action  (Performance Management) 

                          

It seems to be human nature to look for what’s wrong with people, especially those who have qualities you’d love to have. Criticizing others might make a person feel better about him for a minute but it sends a negative vibe for the Law of Attraction to pick up on. Jealousy and Insecurity are the big reasons that people find fault with others.

All the emotions created when a person looks for things to criticize make his vibration negative. In the long run, it won’t make him feel better about himself.

A person who spend time looking for fault in others should spend time in correcting his own. Looking for the beauty in people makes you feel good, not mean or hurtful.

People with good self-esteem, who love themselves, tend to look for the good in people. When you love yourself, you’re much less likely to look for what’s wrong with someone else.

Finding fault stops progress. Finding solution ignites success.

Aiyan Thiruvalluvar says

தன்குற்றம் நீக்கிப் பிறர்குற்றங் காண்கிற்பின் 

என்குற்ற மாகும் இறைக்கு. (436)

दोष-मुक्त कर आपको, बाद पराया दाष ।
जो देखे उस भूप में, हो सकता क्या दोष ॥ (४३६)

Explanation by Scholars

Faultless the leader who first cures his own faults, and then permits himself to scan faults of other men.

முதலில் தனக்குள்ள குறையை நீக்கிக்கொண்டு அதன்பின்னர் பிறர் குறையைக் கண்டு சொல்லும் தலைவனுக்கு என்ன குறை நேரும்?.

Procrastination

Time Management

                        

Rarely, a dream or goal comes true easily and effortlessly, without delays, problems or hurdles. You have to overcome many obstacles and suffer some pain before achieving any meaningful target.

And the bigger your dreams, the tougher your challenge, the more ambitious your goals, the more likely it is that you will face difficulties on your way towards it.

When this happens, what will you do? Will you just give up? Or will you persist and struggle and succeed?

A lot of that depends upon your attitude and experience. Some of it depends upon your skills and network.

Procrastination means deferring or delaying action needlessly. In Project Management, Procrastination often results in missing a schedule target for a planned task, activity or decision and can occur for several reasons including hurdles, carelessness, wishful thinking and fear and risk management.

Too often, we tend to focus on the problems and difficulties along our path. Instead we should look for solutions.

Any endeavor driven and fueled by purpose cannot fail.

The courage and persistence to keep going on, past hurdles and obstacles, is powered by purpose. Your purpose. Discover it. Tap into it. Achieve it.

AiyanThiruvalluvar says

துன்பம் உறவரினும் செய்க துணிவாற்றி

இன்பம் பயக்கும் வினை. (669)

यद्यपि होगा बहुत दुख, दृढ़ता से काम ।
सुख-फल दायक ही रहा, जिसका शुभ परिणाम ॥ (६६९)

Explanation by Scholars: 

Though it should cause increasing sorrow (at the outset), do with firmness the act that yield bliss (in the end).

ஒரு செயலைச் செய்யும்போது துன்பம் அதிகமாக வந்தாலும் முடிவில் இன்பம் தரும் அச்செயலை மனம் தளராமல் செய்க.